I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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