I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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