And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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