Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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