so that wasnt chicken after all
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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