I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
