Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
