im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
