My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
