Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
