Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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