I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
