do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
