Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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