i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
