New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
