I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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