Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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