This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
