Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
