Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
