Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
