So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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