I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
