he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
