I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
