So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wear drunk well.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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