She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
