he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
