do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
