Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
