"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
