i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
