dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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