it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
