Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
