If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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