I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Vodka?
Forever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
