You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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