Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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