I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i think i have herpe
just one?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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