Please, let me fuck your mom
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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