i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
