A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
