If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
