I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
