I'm eating all of the evidence.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
