If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
