my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i now understand why vodka
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
