dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you win again, gameday.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
