dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
